metaplasmus: (Default)
metaplasmus ([personal profile] metaplasmus) wrote in [personal profile] ursula 2006-01-27 03:31 am (UTC)

Okay, let's see (note, of course, that I may have missed things, and I know precious little about medieval Latin, as I mentioned):

sanctitas -> sanctitatem
colemus should be colimus (colo), unless you actually do want a future
utitur usually takes the ablative (so virtutes -> virtutibus), although it does appear with the accusative

caritas/studium: are these objects of utitur or possessives of virtutes, like patientiae is? If the former, they should be in whatever case utitur is taking here (at the very least, if it's accusative, caritas should be caritatem); if the latter, caritatisque studique.

It looks like Cum consistamus is a concessive clause... so you probably want a tamen after imminet.

I'm not sure about elucet *in* nobis, although maybe this is just because I have the Requiem line stuck in my head: et lux perpetua luceat eis.

pro Conlegium -> pro Conlegio (pro doesn't appear with the acc., to my knowledge)

It looks very good, though! Writing actual prose in these languages is tough stuff, especially when you don't have a prose-comp textbook leading you through the grammatical constructions by the hand.

Post a comment in response:

(will be screened)
(will be screened if not validated)
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting

If you are unable to use this captcha for any reason, please contact us by email at support@dreamwidth.org