ursula: bear eating salmon (Default)
2021-05-09 09:28 am

Blades in the Dark reclaimed a coffeeshop for the cult


  • "You have twenty mopeds?!"
    "I get enthusiastic about my hobbies."
    "What do you do with twenty mopeds??"

  • [Party riffs on the question of agriculture in a setting where the sun was destroyed by uncanny powers hundreds of years ago.]
    "Ghost power--you have haunted grow lights."
    "Asparagus will just grow without light. That's how you get white asparagus."
    "Just put an eel in your CSA box, and imagine."

  • "I'm not the eel guy!"
    "Awww, eel pizza? No!"
    "Sounds delicious. Eel pizza with ghost mushrooms."

  • [Party asks whether their cult can continue operating the coffee shop.]
    "That could be arranged, but you would have to cancel all the poetry nights."
    "Only sun theme. Only one kind of poetry."

  • "I don't have to talk to any, like, people?"
    "Don't you talk to dead people?"
    "Oh, dead people are fine. Dead people, babies, animals... Acquaintances are the worst."
    "I don't have to worry about talking to acquaintances, 'cause I can always smoke-bomb my way out."

  • "Eel infestation!"
    "Yes, spirit eels."

  • "We could Scooby-Doo this shit."
    "We don't even have to use real spirits."

  • "You can commune with spirits and I can literally punch them away from places!"

  • "We do, after we're done with this, actually have to get rid of those ghosts."

  • "My plan was not to waltz in and put a summoning circle on top of the counter."
    "Can we just do the summoning as, like, a poem?"
    "Summoning at open mic night!"

  • "I like that we're rolling for success with basically a supernatural force and we roll triple 6's."

  • "Who is Nyryx possessing?"
    "Is there anyone with a bongo drum?"
    "Who works here?"
    "The baristas don't make enough money for this!"

  • "One star! There is no pizza! I was promised a pizza guy."

  • "Is there an influencer there? Eel-fluencer?"

  • "Haunt the coffee machine."
    "Every time you pull a shot of espresso just, like, screams come out."
    "So the ghosts are, like, inside the pressure vessel."

  • [We confirm that the bongo player is possessed.]
    "This is what happens when you play with bongos."
    "Did you not read the bongo end-user license agreement?"
    "It's boilerplate, you should have known."

  • "I gain my morning alertness from the glory of the sun god."
    "I wake up at about 2 pm."
    "Yeah, 'cause the sun-god isn't around yet."

  • "It used to get five out of five eels and now it barely rates an eel and a half."

  • "If we go, though, do you think they'll ask questions like, 'Who let the ghosts out? Who?'"
    "I have no right to be annoyed at that, but."

  • "It's hard to do the twenty-sided sign of the cross."
    "I-cross-a-hedron."

  • [players feel some remorse at their successful haunting]
    "But you know, I've played other games where we were quote-on-quote evil, and this is much more fun."
    "Look, it's called Blades in the Dark, not Hugs in the Dark."
    "I'm glad we didn't take that cult value of honesty."

  • "I'm thinking the espresso machine blows up in a cloud of fire & brimstone. What do people think?"
    "Is that a tall or a venti explosion?"

  • "Our god banishes ghosts and respects well-brewed coffee."

  • "We successfully took over the art deco Starbucks!"
ursula: bear eating salmon (Default)
2021-02-06 07:53 pm
Entry tags:

Blades in the Dark owes a favor to a snail bookie

We had our first official Blades in the Dark session, in which the party (members of a cult dedicated to the god of the long-shattered sun) attempted to frame a nobleman for rigging a snailbaiting game, failed their Sway rolls, and dragged him through the service entrance while the arena caught fire instead.


  • "I want to meet our god and go blind! It'll be the best!"

  • "We don't even know what our god is. It could be, like, a snail."
    "The snail is a deadly laser."

  • [Party riffs on the sun symbolism encoded in a pizza.]
    "The crust is the corona."
    "You slowly open the box and it's...the dawn!"
    "I want pizza now."

  • [I enthusiastically describe the unfortunate cultural practice of betting on dart battles between eighteen-inch-tall attack snails.]
    "Is this in the source book, or did you make it up?"
    "Oh, I made it up."

  • "Is this snail on enough snail ghost meth for an explosion?"

  • "I have been out-intimidated by a four-foot cream puff!"