(no subject)

[ursula]

A link from greythistle on feminism, housework, and choices that aren't makes me wonder about the liberal arts & ambition-- there's no particular reason why an English or sociology degree should doom you to life as a secretary, but so many of my non-math friends seem to feel stuck between temping and grad school . . .

Comments

Re: horrible!

[reasie.livejournal.com]

I think a lot of women /think/ that there is fullfillment and happiness in the home - but studies have been done that show childrearing does not increase feelings of fulfillment or happiness. (I swear. I was just reading one a couple weeks ago.) It is NO escape. It is a nightmare of reality as you face not just your own reduced earning potential and reduced regard by the populace in general, you must now concern yourself with the rapidly decreasing oportunities your offspring will face. And the work is HARD. It is mentally exhausting to raise children. And it is physically exhausting to keep a home. I have done this. As a paid caregiver, yes, but I have spent 40 hours a week watching children and it was the hardest job I have ever had. Ever. And I worked in a junk yard and I picked produce and I worked food service and a help desk and I rang a cash register on the day after Thanksgiving. All of these were like taking a nap compared to caring for children even part-time.

Yet our culture views this as 'not work' - it views homemaking as UNEMPLOYMENT. UNIMPORTANT.

That's the rub. I see a generation of women holding the 'mommy track' in their mind as a last-resort, a safe-out, or even a viable, equal alternative. It is none of these things. It is a gruelling drudgery with social isolation and depression as its wages.

We need to give more credit to our care-givers. We need a society that honors those that care for children and educate them. We definately don't have that. That's one thing. When keeping a home becomes a truly rewarding career, I guarentee we'll see more men doing it.

When I hear a male undergrad say "Gee... a career AND a family? I don't know how I'll work it" we will be approaching economic equality. That's what this is about - about valuing a woman's work as much as a man's. How is this in any way a bad idea? Should we not judge people by their ability rather than their gender, age, color, brand-name cola product choice, or what have you?

We are raising generations of women idealists, who are given no real explanation of the importance of making it in the world - I know many women my age who operate under the assumption that they will marry their fortunes. How insulting to men! I demand male equality! I demand we treat men with respect and allow these poor, unemancipated males to do our laundry and cook our dinners! And I say this only partially in jest. I believe women should be drafted, too. It would certainly make people think more carefully about allowing drafts.

But I digress. I thank my stars I had a father to raise me. I want the young men growing up now to know they have that option. I want the young women growing up now to know they have the option of becoming the next millionare, the next cure-discovering researcher, the next president.

But telling a little girl she has a choice, and telling her the real limitations those choices create, are different things.

Re: horrible!

[ursula]

I worry also that requiring one's children to provide one's primary intellectual stimulus is unfair (and means they are dragged to every major museum & movement classes, and can't play in the mud).