latin prose composition
Jan. 25th, 2006 10:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ursulaI'm translating the text for the Light of Saint Bunstable (our local college's award) into Latin. If your Latin is less rusty than mine, or your knowledge of medieval Latin better, or if you're generally curious, I'd appreciate your comments.
The text I started with:
Pray harken and listen to these words: We baseborn do honor
the holiness and sacrifice of our martyr and patron Saint
Bunstable by selecting one of our number as deserving of recognition.
[Name] exemplifies the virtues of patience, charity and devotion above all
others. As such is deserving of our highest regard and esteem. And
though we stand upon the firmament of Earth, above us hangs the mantle
of heaven whence the Light of Saint Bunstable shines forth upon
us. The music of the spheres beckons the ear and we contemplate in
rapturous joy the glory of our Saint and recall his sacrifice.
This award is presented on behalf of the College of Saint Bunstable by
our hand.
The text I worked from, after tweaking the wording for logic and grammar:
Pray harken and listen to these words: We baseborn do honor the holiness and sacrifice of our martyr and patron Saint Bunstable by selecting one of our number as deserving of recognition. [Name] exemplifies the virtues of patience, charity, and devotion above all others, and therefore is deserving of our highest regard and esteem. And though we stand upon the globe of Earth, above us hangs the mantle of heaven whence the Light of Saint Bunstable shines forth upon us. The music of the spheres beckons the ear and we contemplate in rapturous joy the glory of our Saint and recall his sacrifice. This award is presented on behalf of the College of Saint Bunstable by the Baron and Baroness of Madrone.
My translation:
Audite auscultateque haec verba. Nos humili loco nati sanctitas sacrificiumque nostri martyris patronique Bunstabilis sancti colemus uno cuniculo e numero digno laudum eligendo. [Nomen] maxime utitur virtutes patientiae caritasque studiumque. Igitur meret admirationem et studium altissimum nostrum. Cum consistamus in globo terrae, imminet pallium caeli unde lux sancti Bunstabilis elucet in nobis. Musica sphaerarum aures invitat et laeti gloriam sancti nostri contemplamur et sacrificium reducimus. Insigne datum est pro Conlegium Sancti Bunstabilis ab Barone et Baronissa Madronae.
A more literal re-translation:
Hear and listen to these words. We, born in a humble place, honor the holiness and sacrifice of our martyr and patron Saint Bunstable by selecting one rabbit out of our number as deserving of praise. [Name] practices the virtues of patience and charity and zeal most greatly, therefore merits admiration and our highest enthusiasm. Though we stand on the globe of earth, the mantle of heaven hangs over, from which the light of Saint Bunstable shines out to us. The music of the spheres invites the ears and, happy, we contemplate the glory of our saint and recall the sacrifice. This award is given for the College of Saint Bunstable by the Baron and Baroness of Madrone.
I had to engage in a certain amount of verbal contortion because I don't know whether a man or a woman will receive the award; the rabbit is a standard joke on Bunstable/ Bunnies, but I inserted it because rabbits are grammatically masculine, while one person or one student might not be.
The text I started with:
Pray harken and listen to these words: We baseborn do honor
the holiness and sacrifice of our martyr and patron Saint
Bunstable by selecting one of our number as deserving of recognition.
[Name] exemplifies the virtues of patience, charity and devotion above all
others. As such is deserving of our highest regard and esteem. And
though we stand upon the firmament of Earth, above us hangs the mantle
of heaven whence the Light of Saint Bunstable shines forth upon
us. The music of the spheres beckons the ear and we contemplate in
rapturous joy the glory of our Saint and recall his sacrifice.
This award is presented on behalf of the College of Saint Bunstable by
our hand.
The text I worked from, after tweaking the wording for logic and grammar:
Pray harken and listen to these words: We baseborn do honor the holiness and sacrifice of our martyr and patron Saint Bunstable by selecting one of our number as deserving of recognition. [Name] exemplifies the virtues of patience, charity, and devotion above all others, and therefore is deserving of our highest regard and esteem. And though we stand upon the globe of Earth, above us hangs the mantle of heaven whence the Light of Saint Bunstable shines forth upon us. The music of the spheres beckons the ear and we contemplate in rapturous joy the glory of our Saint and recall his sacrifice. This award is presented on behalf of the College of Saint Bunstable by the Baron and Baroness of Madrone.
My translation:
Audite auscultateque haec verba. Nos humili loco nati sanctitas sacrificiumque nostri martyris patronique Bunstabilis sancti colemus uno cuniculo e numero digno laudum eligendo. [Nomen] maxime utitur virtutes patientiae caritasque studiumque. Igitur meret admirationem et studium altissimum nostrum. Cum consistamus in globo terrae, imminet pallium caeli unde lux sancti Bunstabilis elucet in nobis. Musica sphaerarum aures invitat et laeti gloriam sancti nostri contemplamur et sacrificium reducimus. Insigne datum est pro Conlegium Sancti Bunstabilis ab Barone et Baronissa Madronae.
A more literal re-translation:
Hear and listen to these words. We, born in a humble place, honor the holiness and sacrifice of our martyr and patron Saint Bunstable by selecting one rabbit out of our number as deserving of praise. [Name] practices the virtues of patience and charity and zeal most greatly, therefore merits admiration and our highest enthusiasm. Though we stand on the globe of earth, the mantle of heaven hangs over, from which the light of Saint Bunstable shines out to us. The music of the spheres invites the ears and, happy, we contemplate the glory of our saint and recall the sacrifice. This award is given for the College of Saint Bunstable by the Baron and Baroness of Madrone.
I had to engage in a certain amount of verbal contortion because I don't know whether a man or a woman will receive the award; the rabbit is a standard joke on Bunstable/ Bunnies, but I inserted it because rabbits are grammatically masculine, while one person or one student might not be.
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-26 11:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-27 01:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-27 03:31 am (UTC)sanctitas -> sanctitatem
colemus should be colimus (colo), unless you actually do want a future
utitur usually takes the ablative (so virtutes -> virtutibus), although it does appear with the accusative
caritas/studium: are these objects of utitur or possessives of virtutes, like patientiae is? If the former, they should be in whatever case utitur is taking here (at the very least, if it's accusative, caritas should be caritatem); if the latter, caritatisque studique.
It looks like Cum consistamus is a concessive clause... so you probably want a tamen after imminet.
I'm not sure about elucet *in* nobis, although maybe this is just because I have the Requiem line stuck in my head: et lux perpetua luceat eis.
pro Conlegium -> pro Conlegio (pro doesn't appear with the acc., to my knowledge)
It looks very good, though! Writing actual prose in these languages is tough stuff, especially when you don't have a prose-comp textbook leading you through the grammatical constructions by the hand.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-27 03:52 am (UTC)Thanks for your excellent help, especially the Requiem quote-- I'm sure that anyone composing this sort of flowery nonsense in the Middle Ages would have thought of it as well.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-27 12:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-27 01:55 am (UTC)