Your style is a little strange for what you're writing. Some places it seems very sparse, elsewhere, the sentences are very long and full of commas. (like my normal writing...) Action scene was good; very vivid but perhaps splitting it up would help. :)
Also, would love to scene to more of that demon humor. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2003-05-19 02:52 pm (UTC)Also, would love to scene to more of that demon humor. ;)