Drafting the Ultimate Alcohol-Characterization Guide

[ursula]

When a person chooses a drink, he does so by some combination of the following criteria:

1. I like the taste.
   
   
   
   1. It's dessert!
      
   2. I love the subtle flavors.
      
   
   
2. I want to look cool.
   
   
   
   1. My drink's name is much cooler than mine.
      
   2. I'm popular!
      
   3. I'm sophisticated, like those people who wear slinky black cocktail dresses and go to parties in New York.
      
   4. I have refined and intellectual tastes.
      
   5. I'm so tough I can survive my drink.
      
   6. If I ask for Coke everyone stares at me.
      
   
   
3. I just want to get drunk.
   
   
   
   1. Party!
      
   2. I hate my life, I want to forget about it.
      
   3. I want something to fiddle with so I don't have to make conversation.